I am certainly not the person you should be looking for in case you are in trouble.. By 'trouble', I mean something different though.. There must have been occasions when people close to you came up to you and confided in you, their guilt for having done something or the misery caused because of being fooled or ill-treated or cheated by somebody.. At times, they must have even cried in front of you bitching about somebody or the other.. Hmm.. I am talking about instances when your near and dear ones are hurt and are feeling very low and have come to seek solace in you..
If someone comes to me for this, I happen to find myself under a lot of pressure.. A few thoughts would dawn upon me.. First of all, because this beloved person of yours has chosen you to help him out in this weak moment of his, one thing that you need to understand is that it is more of a moral responsibility shouldered upon you than it is an honour.. Now, because this person is not in the best of his senses at that particular moment, he is simply not in the capacity to think.. So it is highly assumed that you will be thoughtful and will do something about it.. If you are a sensible man, you should know that all you have to do is make that person feel good by any means.. Well.. If put in such a situation, I can think of only three alternatives for myself..
1. Bring him out of the saga.
The simplest way of making him feel good would be to sidetrack from the topic.. He will thus be forced to think of something other than what has caused him all the trouble.. Sounds very simple, but if things have been very bad, this one simply wont help.. However you try, you wont be able to get him off the train..
2. Sympathise and make him feel good.
This one sounds pretty interesting naa?? If your friend is feeling low because of something bad done to him by someone and he happens to be full of resentment over that somebody.. You can do him a kind gesture by asking to vent out all his distress over that person right in front of you.. To make things even better, you may yourself start grousing before him about this villain, even explain him how bad the ‘rascal’ has always been to him (using swear words like these can be of great help if you are going to resort to this option).. Whole of this will give your friend a sense of righteousness for feeling so acrimonious.. The entire blame of the spoilt game will be transferred to that person and you will have thus helped your friend feel a lot lighter.. and will have thus helped yourself too by taking your friendship to the next level.. Kudos to you then !!
3. Be a man and give some insight.
This one is the toughest.. But it makes the most sense at least to me.. Here, you are supposed to listen to your friend, analyse the story, try to find out what went wrong and then tell him what can he do about it.. In short, you have to give your friend a very just and unbiased advice irrespective of what the repercussions of this moral act of yours will be.. Well.. To be very frank, as a result, whole of your friendship can be at stake.. So do take this one with a pinch of salt !!
Why I had to confess that I am no good with such situations is because I have already tried all the three of these options with different people in different cases.. If your friend is happy to have been diagnosed with malaria when it could have even been swine flu, it still does not make sense to tell him that malaria is one of the major causes of world-wide deaths, only because you still want him to take care.. Or in case your friend is into a bad relationship, and has approached you to take a call, it will be such a shame to pass on the entire blame to his / her partner and then ask him to get over it, only to make him feel good.. Though I am smart enough to have not screwed up things big time like this, I still am not satisfied with my responses to such situations..
If somebody in trouble would come to me, its me who would start looking to call the SOS..
If someone comes to me for this, I happen to find myself under a lot of pressure.. A few thoughts would dawn upon me.. First of all, because this beloved person of yours has chosen you to help him out in this weak moment of his, one thing that you need to understand is that it is more of a moral responsibility shouldered upon you than it is an honour.. Now, because this person is not in the best of his senses at that particular moment, he is simply not in the capacity to think.. So it is highly assumed that you will be thoughtful and will do something about it.. If you are a sensible man, you should know that all you have to do is make that person feel good by any means.. Well.. If put in such a situation, I can think of only three alternatives for myself..
1. Bring him out of the saga.
The simplest way of making him feel good would be to sidetrack from the topic.. He will thus be forced to think of something other than what has caused him all the trouble.. Sounds very simple, but if things have been very bad, this one simply wont help.. However you try, you wont be able to get him off the train..
2. Sympathise and make him feel good.
This one sounds pretty interesting naa?? If your friend is feeling low because of something bad done to him by someone and he happens to be full of resentment over that somebody.. You can do him a kind gesture by asking to vent out all his distress over that person right in front of you.. To make things even better, you may yourself start grousing before him about this villain, even explain him how bad the ‘rascal’ has always been to him (using swear words like these can be of great help if you are going to resort to this option).. Whole of this will give your friend a sense of righteousness for feeling so acrimonious.. The entire blame of the spoilt game will be transferred to that person and you will have thus helped your friend feel a lot lighter.. and will have thus helped yourself too by taking your friendship to the next level.. Kudos to you then !!
3. Be a man and give some insight.
This one is the toughest.. But it makes the most sense at least to me.. Here, you are supposed to listen to your friend, analyse the story, try to find out what went wrong and then tell him what can he do about it.. In short, you have to give your friend a very just and unbiased advice irrespective of what the repercussions of this moral act of yours will be.. Well.. To be very frank, as a result, whole of your friendship can be at stake.. So do take this one with a pinch of salt !!
Why I had to confess that I am no good with such situations is because I have already tried all the three of these options with different people in different cases.. If your friend is happy to have been diagnosed with malaria when it could have even been swine flu, it still does not make sense to tell him that malaria is one of the major causes of world-wide deaths, only because you still want him to take care.. Or in case your friend is into a bad relationship, and has approached you to take a call, it will be such a shame to pass on the entire blame to his / her partner and then ask him to get over it, only to make him feel good.. Though I am smart enough to have not screwed up things big time like this, I still am not satisfied with my responses to such situations..
If somebody in trouble would come to me, its me who would start looking to call the SOS..
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